A few years ago, I told my husband I needed a change to my days. What I meant was that working at home alone was no longer so great for me. I was starting to become lonely, and the loneliness was shading the days with more and more grey, no matter the sunshine outside. 

Having a home office had been great—and still is at times—but I am an extrovert. I need my alone time, but too much of it and the sadness seeps in. So my husband, Preston, kind soul that he is, let me borrow an office space—often used as spillover space when an employee needed more room to spread out—and I started going into the office with him several times a week. 

It wasn’t as if I spent gobs of time talking to everyone at work, and sure, I was still doing my own work in a room by myself, but having the office door open, just hearing the voices of the people around me and interacting enough to say hello and to see how they were doing cured all my bouts of loneliness.

Then the pandemic hit. They needed that office space, the one I had been using, to spread out and be safe. I packed up my keyboard and mouse and my insulated thermos and started working full-time back at home. Let’s face it, having to work from home is not the worst thing in the world. I am lucky I have my job, that my husband has his, that we have a roof over our heads. Let me be clear: I am not complaining. 

The months passed, and I worked from home, with the windows and my computer and the phone as my connections to the world during the day.

As the pandemic continued, I talked to my single friends, the ones who lived alone. “I’m struggling,” they said. “This is too much.” I thought I understood how they must feel. I wasn’t lonely—after all, I see Preston at the start and end of every day—but I thought I could imagine how they must feel.

But now I can see I couldn’t, not really. 

This past weekend, when my husband was at work all day Sunday, for some reason I hit a lonely wall. After all this time, I’d been perfectly fine on the days I was home alone and then suddenly I wasn’t. I’m not sure what made the difference, but I could feel the edges of the grey seeping in, just under the cracks. And I thought, “If this is how I feel, under such easy circumstances, how must my friends feel who live alone?” I’m guessing I still don’t have a clue.

I have a plan for myself on how to tackle the loneliness. I’m not worried about me. But it’s made me even more concerned about my friends who live alone, especially as we head into the colder months. I was already calling them, but now my calls will increase. “How are you? Tell me about your day.” Sometimes it’s not complicated to show you want to be there for someone. I don’t have easy fixes for their loneliness, but I can at least try harder.

Do you know someone who lives alone? Reach out. Chat. Zoom or FaceTime. Ask them how they are. You might not be in the same room, but you can at least make an effort to show up for them. Let them know you have not forgotten them. Let them know they matter to you.

(Photo by Eduard Militaru from Unsplash.com.)

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Upcoming Events

November 4, 2020, 5-6:30 p.m. EST: “Moments that Matter: an Introduction to Flash Nonfiction” Writing Workshop. Join me in this free session with Community Building Art Works. We’ll talk about flash nonfiction, how it works, why it works, look at some examples, and then I’ll give you a prompt and you will WRITE. Session is free but registration is required.

November 10, 2020, noon (EST): Let’s Write Together!
Having a hard time finding inspiration and motivation to write? Join me in this online one-hour session. We’ll talk about a piece of writing, I will give you a prompt, and then you will WRITE. This workshop is part of Press 53’s High Road Festival of Poetry and Short Fiction. Cost: $10. Register here.

November 17, 2020, noon (EST): Let’s Write Together!
Having a hard time finding inspiration and motivation to write? Join me in this online one-hour session. We’ll talk about a piece of writing, I will give you a prompt, and then you will WRITE. This workshop is part of Press 53’s High Road Festival of Poetry and Short Fiction. Cost: $10. Register here.

December 1, 2020, noon (EST): Let’s Write Together!
Having a hard time finding inspiration and motivation to write? Join me in this online one-hour session. We’ll talk about a piece of writing, I will give you a prompt, and then you will WRITE. This workshop is part of Press 53’s High Road Festival of Poetry and Short Fiction. Cost: $10. Register here.

December 15, 2020, noon (EST): Let’s Write Together!
Having a hard time finding inspiration and motivation to write? Join me in this online one-hour session. We’ll talk about a piece of writing, I will give you a prompt, and then you will WRITE. This workshop is part of Press 53’s High Road Festival of Poetry and Short Fiction. Cost: $10. Register here.