Years ago, my family used to exchange Christmas presents: everyone gave everyone else something. Then one year, we decided to pick names, except no one wanted to draw names from a hat. Or maybe I just didn’t. There’s one person in my family who is very hard to shop for (you know who you are if you’re reading this!), so I wanted someone else’s—anyone else’s—name.
The truth is a lot of us were hard to shop for, not because we were picky, but we were all adults and had jobs, so if we really wanted something, we saved for it and got it ourselves. Ye ol’ gift card became the gift of choice. It was easy! I loved it! Shopping for gifts wasn’t taking so much time, and then my sister complained one year, “All we’re doing is exchanging money.” She was right.
So then we moved to just doing stocking stuffers for each other, and I think we set a limit of $10, but some people adhered to that and some people didn’t, and my husband never knew what to get my family members, so I ended up shopping for both of our gifts to everyone else.
And then I became The Grinch. I decided one year that my husband and I wanted out of the gift/stocking stuffer exchange. “But then you won’t have anything to open,” one of my family members said to me. “Don’t you want to open something on Christmas morning?”
No, in fact, I did not.
My family members continued to exchange gifts among themselves, and my husband and I sat with my family through the unwrapping of gifts. Did it bother us? Not a bit. Sure, we didn’t get any presents, but we also hadn’t had to try and figure out what to get everyone else. I found I was more relaxed through December. I loved it.
Gifts, apparently, are not my love language.
My husband and I long ago stopped giving each other gifts on special occasions. Not that we don’t do many other things for each other—or, often, buy something for the other. It just doesn’t happen on birthdays, anniversaries, or Christmas. And we both like it that way. There’s no pressure to find the exact right thing to tell the other you care. He does plenty for me all year round—fixes things around the house, watches a silly show just because I want to, does all the driving on long road trips, walks with me every morning, makes me coffee on Saturdays and Sundays, cheers me on in my writing career. I’m good with that. I’m more than good.
I love seeing my family on holidays—we don’t live in the same place, so it’s a big gift just to see them, to talk in person, to give each other hugs.
My family eventually stopped the whole stocking stuffer exchange. We focus on what we will cook, what we will do, how many days together we’ll have.
Photo credit: Madison Kaminski
Upcoming Online Seminars
Let’s Write Together!
Tuesdays at noon EST (on Zoom): December 7, 14, 21, 28; January 4, 11, 18
Having a hard time finding inspiration and motivation to write? Join me for any (or all) of these online one-hour sessions on Tuesdays at noon EST. We’ll talk about a piece of writing, I will give you a prompt, and then you will WRITE. These workshops are in partnership with Press 53. Cost: $10/session. Register for any of them here.
(NEW!) Take Two: More Tools & Techniques for Your Flash Nonfiction Toolbox
Sunday, January 2, 3-4:30 p.m. EST (online)
In this seminar, we’ll mine more powerful flash pieces for effective techniques you can use in your own writing. You’ll also be given a flash nonfiction prompt and time to write so you can take what you’ve learned and begin a first flash draft during class. (This class builds on my other seminar, “Moments that Matter: an Introduction to Flash Nonfiction,” but is not required to attend). Cost $30. Register here.
Make Your Titles Do More of the Heavy Lifting
Saturday, February 5, 10 a.m.-noon EST
Titles should serve your poetry and prose rather than simply helping to navigate the contents page. Using poetry titles as examples so we can cover more ground during this seminar, together we'll look at titles that work hard and offer zing and pizzazz so that your own titles will entice readers and better serve your writing. What is covered in this seminar applies to prose—especially flash fiction, flash nonfiction, short stories, and personal essays. This seminar is in partnership with the Knoxville Writers’ Guild. Register here.
Prompt-Writing like Speed-Dating: Prompt, Write, Next, Prompt, Write, Next
Tuesday, January 25, 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. EST on Zoom
If you’ve attended Let’s Write Together with me, you’ll recognize the format: I’ll share a piece of writing to inspire you, offer a prompt related to it, and you will have time to write. Except I’ll be offering a new piece and prompt every 10-12 minutes during this 1.5-hour workshop. Think of it like speed dating—there’s another piece and prompt ready to inspire you just around the corner, with time for sharing at the end. This workshop is in partnership with Press 53. Cost: $30. Register here.
(NEW!) Addressing the “You” in Flash Nonfiction
Sunday, February 6, 2-4:00 p.m. EST on Zoom
In this seminar, we will look at flash essays that address a “you” in the piece (in some cases, this is called a literary apostrophe). Who the “you” is varies from piece to piece. We’ll look at whom each writer is addressing and pull out the strategies these writers use to draw out the reader’s emotions and tell these short, compelling true stories. You’ll have time in class to try your hand at drafting a flash piece that addresses your own “you.” Cost $40. Register here.